We know how much you all enjoyed our last Office Characters post, so we’ve decided to give you some more.
The Paper Swampee
The Paper Swampee is a creature of mystery but is perfectly harmless. They will often build walls around them made entirely of paper and emerge infrequently for the sanctuary they create for themselves. You may only ever see their head or just their eyes and they are often extremely busy creatures. Tidying up is not an option for the Paper Swampee because this removes them from their natural habitat. Even if their desk is tidy for a short period of time, you will find they are naturally drawn to replenishing their paper mountains. The Paper Swampee will thrive best by a printer and the provision of a shredder is futile.
The Glory Seeker
The Glory Seeker is a predator. They don’t always officially achieve themseles, but take the credit for everyone else’s hard work. Like a cat on the hunt, they’ll sit back quietly, observe and then…POUNCE. You didn’t see them coming, but they snatched the credit right from under your nose. They will then strut around the office proudly, chest plumped up and advise others of their success. Regular pats on the back are essential for these creatures and they will do anything to get one!
The Charity King
The Charity King is a kind creature but needs to be monitored. They always have a fundraising project on the go and rarely go out without a sponsorship form in their pocket. They have a big heart and a selfless nature but can sometimes get addicted to their mission. This has no effect on them, but can lead to others around them to lose a few pounds.
The Toy Collector
Every office has one. The Toy Collector is a harmless creature that likes toys. They have toys around their desk, on their computer, on their keys…everywhere. They are easy to buy gifts for and have a fun, playful nature.
Corporate Lingo Lover
The Corporate Lingo Lover can be difficult to understand at times. They are prone to speaking in a language that only a select few speak and understand. They often ‘touch base’ with people about things in the ‘pipeline’ and focus themselves on ‘the end user perspective’. They ‘go for the low hanging fruit’ and can be found ‘singing from the same hymn sheet’ as other Corporate Lingo Lovers, whilst ‘orchestrating innovative synergies’ in their spare time. Excellent for Jargon Bingo.
The Inconsiderate Emailer
The Inconsiderate Emailer is a creature who, as far as we can gather, is unable to speak. There have been many reported instances of Inconsiderate Emailers and it is very rare for them to actually talk to people. Instead they opt for sending emails about anything and everything, quietly filling up your inbox from afar with emails that don’t necessarily need sending. They like to keep others updated about their every move. Rarely seen with a telephone in their hands, the Inconsiderate Emailer is happiest with a keyboard.
Over Happy Chappy
The Over Happy Chappy is a very positive, upbeat creature. There’s never a negative when they are around and they are SO happy about EVERYTHING. Nothing gets the Over Happy Chappy down. A positive creature to be around, but can sometimes be overwhelming – especially if you are having a ‘down day’ and want to wallow a bit!
The Expert
This creature comes in 2 forms – Guru and Deluded. The Guru knows everything. They are the one to go to whenever you need to know something about anything. If they don’t know the answer, they know where to go to find it or who to ask. The Guru Expert is often friendly and happy to help – definitely one to keep on side. The Deluded Expert THINKS they know everything and tries to convince others that they know things. Beware. They don’t know half as much as they make out they do. Opt for the Guru Expert every time.
If you’ve got any others, let us know!
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